Parenting in A Divided World: Love Begins at Home
Begins and Heals at Home
I didn’t know much about Charlie Kirk until his passing. In the days that followed, I was struck not by politics, but by the deep division that surrounded it.
This isn’t just about politics or a specific person or people. It’s about something deeper: how we treat one another, and how much of that begins at home.
As a psychiatrist and a parent who has listened to many stories, I’ve learned this: most wounds begin in childhood, many at home.
When Home Teaches Fear Instead of Love
Some of my patients come from deeply religious families, yet many feel rejected, unloved, or unseen. They were controlled, shamed, dismissed, or ignored. Differing views were met with fear, anger, or silence.
Today, many young people experience attacks, mocking, or constant comparisons from their parents, often perceived as arrogance or pride. They see hypocrisy in what is preached versus what is practiced, and it makes them doubt or even dislike faith-based principles from the Bible. What could have drawn them to love and truth instead drives them away in pain and confusion.
“You’re young, you don’t understand yet.”
“You’ve been brainwashed by social media.”
“Your generation is clueless.”
“The far right or far left is ruining everything.”
“I know better, I’m older and more experienced.”
These words may seem harmless in the moment, but they teach children and teens that their thoughts and feelings do not matter. Over time, that creates distance, resentment, or silence. Some shut down emotionally; others rebel in frustration.
Jesus Modeled Love That Listens
What I keep returning to is this: Jesus never treated people like that.
He didn’t ignore truth or excuse behavior, but He didn’t argue people into faith or shame them into submission. Jesus led with humility, compassion, and accountability. He gave hope to the brokenhearted, drew near to the outcast, protected the vulnerable, and never made love conditional. That’s the model we are called to follow, especially in our homes.
Discipline Without Domination
Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
It’s not a guarantee; it’s a principle. Moral and spiritual guidance shapes character and values over time. We cannot force faith, impose our will on others, or control outcomes. We can only lead with love that listens, respects, and gives space.
Perfect Love Casts Out Fear
To parents worried that their kids might walk away from faith, or already have, remember this promise:
“Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18)
We are loved perfectly by God, and His perfect love frees us from fear. He shapes us through discipline, not punishment, and His love transforms rather than shames.
Perfect love is NOT:
- Overprotective or anxious about every outcome
- Harsh or punishing out of fear
- Focused on how a child’s behavior reflects on you
- Driven by “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios
When fear drives parenting, it creates control and anxiety. When love leads, it brings peace, patience, and connection.
Curiosity is a form of love, asking questions like “Tell me more about how you came to believe this” shows interest, respect, and openness.
Perfect love means loving the way God loves and entrusting the results to Him. It means parenting from a place of security, believing God is trustworthy and knows what each child needs even better than we do. Our role is to love faithfully, and trust God with the outcome.
Parenting Teens and Adult Children from Trust, Not Control
Fear-driven parenting pushes children away. Christlike love draws them in. We are not called to idolize or control our children but to surrender them and our families to God. Like Abraham with Isaac, we trust God with the outcome. The greatest act of faith is trusting God more than controlling results.
Love Begins at Home and Grows with Them
Jesus said the greatest commandment is: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.”
That includes our children, even those who disagree or walk away.
Healing in our homes, communities, and country begins with those closest to us. We must love well, not by compromising truth, but by embodying it humbly. Not by demanding agreement, but by listening, being curious, and staying open.
It starts in the home. It always has. Be the parent you were created to be, modeling Christ’s love.
Do not fear the hard moments. Lead gently, love deeply, and trust that the seeds you plant will take root in time.
If your relationship, as a parent, with a teen or young adult feels divided or tense, you don’t have to face it alone. I help parents and family members understand the challenges, rebuild connection, and bring back trust and closeness. Schedule a session today and take the first step toward stronger family relationships.
Dr. Ladan Goble is a board-certified psychiatrist with over 25 years of experience in mental health. She is passionate about helping individuals lead fulfilling lives and provides compassionate care and evidence-based treatment.
Dr. Goble is accepting new patients in her Scottsdale, Arizona office. To schedule an appointment, please call 480.661.3877.
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Disclaimer
The information provided on this blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for personal advice and treatment.